Personal Log, 22.11.111

I saved a Federal politician today.

I didn't mean to. We had just secured the field after destroying an enemy ship. I had pulled alongside the enemy wreck, searching for any usable equipment amongst the wreckage, and before I knew it I was getting communications from my crew that Senator Bigshot was on board and wondering who to thank for his salvation.

I told him to answer in whatever way would shut the man up, as I really had no interest in talking to some self-promoting asshole.

An hour later the worthless bastard had managed to get a comm line with which to annoy me. It took me a couple moments to formulate a response. I don't think he appreciated me cutting him off, or disconnecting his communication systems seconds after telling him to shut the hell up. Of course I really don't care about his feelings.

Five minutes later the son of a bitch was back on the comm system, from the bridge. Apparently he had bullied his way up there, using his position as a senator to force my crewers to let him have access to places I sure as hell never authorized him to enter. I think he was trying to thank me, yell at me for cutting him off earlier, and convince me of how important he was all at the same time. I wasn't really listening so I can't be sure. I did come to a decision though. I concluded that he needed to learn a lesson.

I had him thrown in an airlock. That really irritated him. Threats, begging, bargaining; he ran the gambit of persuasion in less that five minutes. The inner lock was sealed, and I initiated a very slow leak of the air inside. I hoped he would begin to understand what the people in his jurisdiction were living with everyday. Alive, but wondering every moment if some faceless person would decide that instant was to be your last. I wanted him to learn the terror of having absolutely no control over his continued life, just like the people he was supposed to be serving felt.

He had gone very quiet by the time we pulled into dock in Villore. I knew he had not asphyxiated, because the oxygen levels were still well within safety limits; but I did wonder if he had maybe succumbed to cardiac arrest. The fat bastard did weigh 147kg after all. I can't say the issue worried me. It was rather, more of a curiosity.

I popped the outer lock as the ship was secured in the docking bay, and my crew rolled him out onto the deck to wait for the emergency crews that were on their way.... to what I had told them was a low priority call. We left before they had arrived.

Apparently one of my crewers had checked on his condition before we jumped out of the system. He informed me that the Honorable Shithead had simply fainted, and wet himself. And that brought a smile to my face.

Personal Log, 17.11.111

[additional encryption routines enabled]

Things are beginning to come together. Not to say everything has been easy, but all the confusion involved in shuffling the amount of people around that is required by the new order has created opportunity, and I intend to take full advantage.

I am particular optimistic about the systems of Dunraelare and Inghenges. Reports coming to me indicate that there will be particular dependence on Strix security personnel at these locations. With our people handling most of the security concerns, I should have little trouble getting the equipment in position.

I had even forgot how easy it was to do just about anything in the State if you have enough money. Apply a judicial amount of isk, and all of a sudden, as few million tons of the Caldari Navy's next generation explosives vanish from their testing facilities in Aramachi and mysteriously appear in the hanger of a good friend of mine. Of course, I doubt the Caldari Navy will appreciate that much equipment going missing, but that nearly implies that I give a damn what they think. It won't be missing long, I fully intend to give it back.

It all depends on the crypto team I have working on the Provist transport schedules. Assuming the information they gather supports time line I have in mind, we can proceed within the week.

I really don't delude myself into thinking that my plans will really make that much of an impact on these bastards bottom line. But God damn it, I won't just lie down and take this like a whipped dog. I intend to fight until I can't.

[access deletion routine enabled, end entry]

Personal Log, 13.11.111

I always found the phrase "my comms system is blowing up." a rather over dramatic way to state one is getting a lot of calls. Over the last couple days I am beginning to look at it in a new light. Possibly because my comms unit did in fact short out and die due to overload of traffic yesterday.

I only wish the messages would have some variety. Nearly each and every one can be summed up in the following form:

"Strix sold out to a State Mega-corp?! What the fuck?!?"

And then they want me to explain.

Which brings me to my next frustration. How in the name of God am I supposed to explain something, when I don't know any more than the people asking the question? I didn't even know anything about this goddamn situation until people started to ask me about it. How's that for a fucked up chain of communication? Some bloody desk jockey on the other side of New Eden finds out about major shifts in my corporation before the CEO can be bothered to let me in on the secret. Goddamn man.

Regardless, I am getting really tired of answering concerned messages from people that I respect with: "You already know as much as I do." I can't very well tell them that my CEO has lost his damn mind, nor can I tell them that I have plans in motion. I really hate this political shit-bucket, and if I am forced to play in it for much longer, someone is going to die. Painfully.

On a somewhat brighter note, I finally had a rather animated discussion with Mjalnar a couple days ago. The message of: "It's done. Fucking deal with it." came through loud and clear in the end; so I have decided that I will deal with it. I just doubt he's going to like how I go about dealing with it.

To hell with it. If he doesn't like it he can shove it somewhere uncomfortable.

Then again, I don't see why he has to know at all.

Personal Log, 08.11.111

I find myself experiencing a feeling that I have to deal with all to often of late. I don't consider myself an overly violent individual; I do advocate the application of force to resolve problems that require it, but I am also typically willing to talk to people first.

Why is it then that I wake up every day to find a new message containing information that makes me want to desperately hurt someone. My hand to hand training android has been getting a workout lately, which can't be a good thing.

[end entry]0847

[resume entry]1558

God I feel dirty.

My illustrious leader has sold a substantial share of the entity that for all intents and purposes is my family, to a State controlled mega-corporation. Without a word, or desire for input; we've sold our souls to the political whorehouse, hoping that when the dust finally settles someone who has our proverbial balls in their hand will throw us a scrap from the table.

God damn him! If I had wanted a mega-corp to write my paycheck and control my life I would never have left the State in the first place. Well, I suppose I don't technically draw a paycheck; but the point stands. Now I have the privilege of risking my crews and my ships to defend assets of a group that spits on the place I call home? Where is the sense in that? Who in their right mind would crawl into bed with the very people that are subjugating our planets, our people? What the FUCK was he thinking?!

God damn it, where's the resignation paperwork...

[end entry]1609

[resume entry]1617

Alright, no resignation. It's not like there is anywhere else for me to go, and I have an obligation to these people.... even him, as much as that pains me at the moment. How the hell am I supposed to just sit by and watch my home burn... again?

I guess I have a pretty good idea how my ancestors must have felt after entering into the Caldari State.... only to have the mega-corporations exploit our world to an hairsbreadth of being uninhabitable.

God, I'm so angry I feel like I'm going to be sick. I suppose I need to go beat on the sparring android again. God help Mjalnar if I run into him today, I would really prefer not to be arrested on murder charges....

Personal Log. 05.11.111

Another day. Another day roaming the standard patrol routes around Nennamaila. Another day of frustration as targets don't want to present themselves.

I seem to spend far more time these days working on paperwork than flying. Not because of any overwhelming amount of said paperwork, but more of a general sense of frustration when I do undock.

I still believe in what we are out here to do. I still believe in the Federation, though I must admit; all this political wheeling and argument does weary me to the point of violence. I often wish I could grab these senators by their necks and shake them to within an inch of their lives screaming: "Stop talking and actually do something! Stop thinking about how to turn the situation to your personal advantage and help your people!" Alas, politicians don't give two shits about the folks that vote for them. I wouldn't piss on a politician to put out a fire.

Despite all the corruption and complacency, at least I have managed to set my sister and niece up in a quiet, and more importantly, secure section of the Federation. They have settled in nicely and I received a vidmail from Akihko just yesterday. They both seem happy.

Enough of this rambling to a computer. I'm sure there is some paperwork with my name on it back in the office.